These Phrases shared by A Parent Which Rescued Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for a year."

One-time reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the demands of being a father.

But the actual experience soon turned out to be "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health complications surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her chief support as well as caring for their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, each diaper… each outing. The job of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his own dad, on a public seat, that helped him see he needed help.

The straightforward statement "You're not in a good spot. You must get assistance. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His story is far from unique, but rarely discussed. Although people is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges dads go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are linked to a larger inability to open up amongst men, who still absorb damaging notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing time and again."

"It is not a show of being weak to request help. I failed to do that quick enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men often don't want to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - most notably in front of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to request a respite - going on a couple of days overseas, away from the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He realised he required a change to focus on his and his partner's feelings alongside the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she was yearning" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son to better grasp the expression of emotional life and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without reliable male guidance. Despite having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, long-standing trauma resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says suppressing feelings resulted in him make "bad decisions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, turning in alcohol and substances as a way out from the anguish.

"You turn to behaviours that aren't helpful," he says. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Strategies for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you feel swamped, tell a trusted person, your spouse or a counsellor what you're going through. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like yourself before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical stuff - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, sleep, all play a role in how your mind is doing.
• Spend time with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, and also the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that seeking help isn't failing - looking after your own well-being is the optimal method you can care for your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the death, having had no contact with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "repeat the pattern" with his child and instead offer the security and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a outburst, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the feelings safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men since they acknowledged their issues, transformed how they communicate, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… processing things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I wrote, sometimes I believe my job is to guide and direct you how to behave, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering as much as you are through this experience."